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Thread: Hollywood Babble #3 with Miley Cyrus

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    fanfiction Hollywood Babble #3 with Miley Cyrus

    CELEBFANFORUM PRESENTS...
    HOLLYWOOD BABBLE #3

    FEATURING Miley Cyrus
    Created by TPG
    DISCLAIMER: This fictional interview was written for entertainment purposes only.
    A/N: Watching Miley and Chelsea carry on I knew I had to give them their own chapter.


    "Chelsea Lately Show"
    LOS ANGELES, October 17, 2012



    CHELSEA HANDLER:
    Our next guest will be making her television debut as "Missi" on the hit show "Two And A Half Men." Please Welcome her to the show, Miley Cyrus.


    AUDIENCE APPLAUDS TO THE THEME SHOW MUSIC





    HANDLER:
    Welcome to the show.

    CYRUS:
    Thanks. Thanks for having me.

    CHANDLER:
    Now the last time I saw you, you were at my house one minute and leaving the next. I don't think I even had time to say goodbye to you when you left my party?

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. Well. I mean. My fiancé was a little cranky that night, so we had to leave. We had never been to a Hollywood party quite like that before. Where it was just wall to wall swingers and sex addicts and stuff.


    CHELSEA LAUGHS


    HANDLER:
    Sure. I Understand. But you're fiancé is usually great. I assume he was just jet-lagged or something.

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. It's a long story. But suffice to say I more than made it up to him on the car ride home.

    HANDLER:
    Oh you did, good.

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. He's from Australia. So he likes to get drunk and kind of has this jealous streak. He hates to see me with other men.

    HANDLER:
    So you did find some fun at the party?

    CYRUS:
    Absolutely. And despite leaving early it ended up being a great night overall, cause we ended up down at Malibu and had sex by the beach. It was great.

    HANDLER:
    You mean on the beach, or in the car?

    CYRUS:
    Well, on the car actually. Right there in the car park. It was pretty steamy. It was like really late by the time we got down there so no one was around. So we just went for it right there on the bonnet of the car.

    HANDLER:
    Wow. That sounds perfect. I just wanted to make sure you guys had a good night.

    CYRUS:
    No, we did. But I wasn't exactly dressed appropriately so it was a little cold, nerve wracking, and scary. Had a few gang-banger's drive up and down the boulevard when they realized we were actually having sex out in the open, but it was fine.

    HANDLER:
    So speaking of public sex. I hear you have an addiction or something? That you really have a problem with internet porn?


    AUDIENCE WOOF WHISTLES


    CYRUS:
    OMG. Yes. I do. But doesn't everyone these days?

    HANDLER:
    Hey. You're preaching to the choir sister.


    AUDIENCE LAUGHS


    CYRUS:
    Well okay. First of all. I totally blame Liam for this, cause for my birthday last year he went out and bought me a home theater system which he set up in our house.

    HANDLER:
    Right?

    CYRUS:
    Then he hooked up my computer to it, and we've been watching internet porn from those free x-rated tube sites ever since.

    HANDLER:
    And he doesn't mind watching it with you?

    CYRUS:
    That's the thing. Liam usually gets sick of watching porn after a few minutes and leaves, but I can literally lie there for hours on end just rubbing one out and getting off to it, multiple times.





    HANDLER:
    Do you have a favorite niche, or clip you like to watch?

    CYRUS:
    There's like this new series where all they do is get amateur girls to come in to audition and perform various sex acts like anal and masturbation, which I love to watch.

    HANDLER:
    Oh really? Remind me later to ask you for the link.


    AUDIENCE GIGGLES


    CYRUS:
    But to tell you the truth, lately I find myself getting off to those gangbang and gloryhole videos too, ya know?

    HANDLER:
    Right. I know what you're talking about.


    MILEY GRINS


    CYRUS:
    I just find some of those scenarios so fucking great. Give me two or three of those clips, my Hitachi Magic Wand and I'm good to go.

    HANDLER:
    Speaking of clips. Do you ever get into any of those other hardcore fetishes?

    CYRUS:
    Like what, peeing, S&M, panty sniffing?


    AUDIENCE GIGGLES


    HANDLER:
    Err. Sure. Okay. What about those? Anything like that interest you?

    CYRUS:
    Meh. I guess it all depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I just want to see something basic like a girl in a gloryhole booth. But other times when I'm feeling really dirty I'll take a shower and then troll the web looking for interracial bukkake and gangbang videos. You know what I mean?

    HANDLER:
    I know exactly what you mean. Have you guys ever acted out on that stuff?

    CYRUS:
    A few weeks ago Liam and I went into an "adult theater" in East LA to see what it was like, but somehow I ended up being the main attraction. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.

    HANDLER:
    How so?

    CYRUS:
    Well. Initially we took a seat in the back of the theater and watched several people whacking off to the movie and screwing around together, and the whole situation got me so wet that I ended up just fucking Liam right there.

    HANDLER:
    Sounds hot.

    CYRUS:
    Yes but, several old dudes ended up coming over and jacking off to us as I rode him topless. It was a pretty wild scene.

    HANDLER:
    And you didn't find that creepy. Old men whacking off to you?

    CYRUS:
    Well. I am from the Disney channel, so I'm kind of used to that.


    AUDIENCE LAUGHS


    HANDLER:
    And what did Liam do. Was he angry?

    CYRUS:
    At first he was fine with it, since he too gets a kick out of "performing" in public. But when our "audience" started to shoot their loads all over the seats and floor around us, it suddenly got surreal.

    HANDLER:
    Wow. I bet.

    CYRUS:
    Then, to make matters worse one of the guys got a little caught up in the moment and he walked over and shot his thick sticky load all over my naked tits. So we grabbed our things and ran right out of there ASAP.

    HANDLER:
    Gee-Wiz. And you never went back?


    MILEY GRINS MISCHIEVOUSLY


    CYRUS:
    Well. I did, a few days later. I went alone. But that's another story all together.

    HANDLER:
    Interesting.

    CYRUS:
    I mean. I figure with this new hair style some people can't really recognize me, especially in the dark. So I like to make the most of it. Have fun with my new identity.

    HANDLER:
    So that's the real reason behind your new hair?

    CYRUS:
    That, and the fact that I was just sick and tired of washing Liam's spunk out of my hair every other night.

    HANDLER:
    Girl, you should teach that man how to aim properly. Besides, why is he only ejaculating over your face? Don't you find that a little demeaning?


    MILEY GIGGLES





    CYRUS:
    Not at all. Actually, it's my fault. I just love the taste of cum. And always make him nut in my mouth. Unfortunately for me that comes with a price, so I finally cut my hair. Problem solved.

    HANDLER:
    Good. For a minute there we all thought you were going all "Britney" on us.

    CYRUS:
    Oh. I don't think so. I'm not that retarded. I might be a slut. But I'm not a dumb fucking slut.


    AUDIENCE APPLAUDS


    HANDLER:
    So speaking of sluts. I see the character you portray on "Two And A Half Men" is pretty dimwitted.

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. They apparently wrote the part specifically for me. At first I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or offended.

    HANDLER:
    Err. Sweetheart. You should definitely be offended. They're essentially calling you a whore. You play a blonde bimbo?

    CYRUS:
    Yes well. Whatever. I don't care.


    CHELSEA LOOKS AT CAMERA


    HANDLER:
    So did you at least have a good time on set. By the way. I heard that Ashton Kutcher has a HUGE cock. Can you confirm or deny it?


    MILEY BLUSHES


    CYRUS:
    Yep. He's definitely packing some major wood in the downstairs department. He also has a really big trailer too.

    HANDLER:
    I know right. It's like three storey's high or something.

    CYRUS:
    And I think I saw every inch of that motor home, upside down.

    HANDLER:
    Do tell. How was he. Can he still perform after his recent bust up with Demi Moore?

    CYRUS:
    Absolutely. Aside from having a huge dick, he also has great stamina. And he gets a kick out of doing all the work so most of the time I was just moaning out loud and sweating like a pig. It was so embarrassing.

    HANDLER:
    Did you guys hook up before the show, or was it later?

    CYRUS:
    Nah it was later. At first I tried to act all high and mighty around him on set, and made it clear to everyone that I was off limits and spoken for. You know, a happily engaged woman.

    HANDLER:
    So what changed your mind?

    CYRUS:
    Well after we finished shooting that first week, a few of us went back to his trailer to smoke some weed. And anyone who knows me, knows that I will SUCK A DICK for some good herb.


    AUDIENCE APPLAUDS


    HANDLER:
    Wow. You sound like me in the 80's.

    CYRUS:
    I was actually kind of surprised. For a guy who smokes so much pot, he definitely got it up and stayed up for a good hour or so.

    HANDLER:
    Wait. You and Ashton Kutcher had sex in his trailer for a full hour? I'm impressed. And strangely jealous.

    CYRUS:
    Shit yeah. What can I say. I was feeling particularly horny that day. Even before I arrived on set I had been watching porn all morning and masturbating like a woman possessed. To make matters worse I deliberately held off from climaxing, since I wanted to see how far I could go without getting off. I was going to unleash myself on Liam later that weekend.

    HANDLER:
    And how long did you last?


    MILEY BLUSHES


    CYRUS:
    Err. Until our second coffee break? By the way, I still have no idea what that guy's name was. But he owes me a new set of lace panties. I think he said his name was TPG?

    HANDLER:
    What kind of name is that?

    CYRUS:
    I have no idea. To be honest, I wasn't exactly thinking straight. He just happen to be at the right place at the right time.

    HANDLER:
    So, you had sex with a complete stranger while on the set of the show?

    CYRUS:
    No. I wouldn't say that. I just blew some lighting guy in the bathroom and gave him my panties.


    CHELSEA LOOKS AT CAMERA AGAIN


    HANDLER:
    And you say you're off the market, and claim to be a happily engaged woman?

    CYRUS:
    Sure. I know it sounds weird, but Liam knows what I'm like. He knows what he signed up for.





    HANDLER:
    See, this is what I love about you. You don't care what people think.

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. I'm young. I'm just having fun right now, and exploring my sexuality.

    HANDLER:
    Hence the short hair cut.

    CYRUS:
    I guess.

    HANDLER:
    So you never told me. Did you end up hooking up with anyone at my party? I mean there must have been a reason why Liam wanted to leave in such a rush.


    MILEY GRINS


    CYRUS:
    Well. He was kind of pissed when he found me in one of the bedrooms with two guys.

    HANDLER:
    Yeah. I heard something like that. But I wanted you to confirm the story. Was he really mad?

    CYRUS:
    You have no idea.

    HANDLER:
    He didn't go all Chris Brown on you did he?


    AUDIENCE GASPS


    CYRUS:
    Not at all. (giggling) Like I said, we ended up at the beach and I made it up to him.

    HANDLER:
    So who where the guys. Anyone I know?

    CYRUS:
    Not really. Well. I assume. They were just two guys who I was flirting with by the pool, and we ended up in the bedroom doing a few lines when one of them made a pass at me. He was super cute, so I just went with it.

    HANDLER:
    And where was Liam during all this?

    CYRUS:
    I dunno. I think he was flirting with that girl from Attack of the Show? Sara something-or-rather?

    HANDLER:
    You mean Sara Underwood?

    CYRUS:
    I guess? (shrugs)

    HANDLER:
    And then he caught you?


    MILEY SNICKERS


    CYRUS:
    Yeah. I was totally busted. Liam and Sara happened to walk in just as I was riding one of the guys on the bed, and blowing his friend at the same time. He totally flipped out.

    HANDLER:
    Well sure. He found his fiancée in a three-way with two men.

    CYRUS:
    Well. I'm not the only one who screws around. We share his conquests all the time, and you don't hear me complaining.

    HANDLER:
    Oh you do? Well in that case, fuck him. What has he got to whine about?


    AUDIENCE LAUGHS


    CYRUS:
    Exactly.

    HANDLER:
    I mean I figured there must have been a reason why the two of you were still together. You guys have been a couple now for a few years, right? I just assumed you were giving him your backdoor or something.

    CYRUS:
    Oh no.


    CHELSEA LOOKS SURPRISED


    HANDLER:
    No?

    CYRUS:
    Absolutely not. I told him that I'll only let him do me in the butt after we're married.

    HANDLER:
    You go girl. Show him who's boss.

    CYRUS:
    I mean I know other girls do it all the time, and I don't judge them.

    HANDLER:
    Like who. Who are we talk about?

    CYRUS:
    Well I know for a fact that Selena Gomez lets Justin do her in the ass all the time.

    HANDLER:
    Yes but, let's be honest. How big could he possibly be? The poor bastard probably has a baby penis.


    AUDIENCE LAUGHS





    HANDLER:
    But Wow. I did not know that about Selena.


    MILEY BLUSHES


    CYRUS:
    Err. Oops.

    HANDLER:
    Interesting.

    CYRUS:
    I mean. They all do it. Most girls my age have tried it. Even Demi Lovato once told me that she tried it with her vibrator at home and really liked it.

    HANDLER:
    And yet you won't do it? Good for you. But doesn't it piss Liam off. Doesn't it frustrate him like crazy?

    CYRUS:
    Not at all. Because I satisfy him in other ways.

    HANDLER:
    Like what. You mean orally?

    CYRUS:
    Um. (blushes) I don't think I should go into too many details right now.

    HANDLER:
    Why not? You've already said so much. I tell you one thing I like to do to keep my boyfriends interested, and that is to deep throat.


    MILEY SUDDENLY SEEMS ANIMATED


    CYRUS:
    OMG. Yes. I only just learnt how to do that recently. I figured out that I had to control my gag-reflex, and it made it much easier to perform.

    HANDLER:
    You know what they say, Miley. Practice makes perfect.

    CYRUS:
    Ha. If that was the case, then I should have a gold fucking medal at this point for all cock I've sucked.

    HANDLER:
    Jesus. And you're only 19? God you remind me of me when I was at that age.

    CYRUS:
    I know but, I just love sucking dick. Always have. And you know what they say, if you're really good at something then stick to it.

    HANDLER:
    It is fun, isn't it. So what, is that all you do. And that keeps Liam happy?


    MILEY BLUSHES AGAIN


    CYRUS:
    Well. He also likes this thing I sometimes do, on special occasions. Where I run my tongue underneath his balls and lick his ass.

    HANDLER:
    Oh. You mean you rim him?

    CYRUS:
    I think that's what they call it. It just sounds so crude.

    HANDLER:
    No. That's definitely it. You rim his butthole. Yeah most guys who have had that done absolutely love it.


    MILEY GIGGLES


    CYRUS:
    I know right. He can't get enough of it. He's constantly pushing my head down there.

    HANDLER:
    I once had an entire relationship based on that one sex act. All we would do is have me suck his dick and rim his backdoor.

    CYRUS:
    Wow.

    HANDLER:
    Precisely. But, how do you think I got this show?


    AUDIENCE APPLAUDS


    CYRUS:
    Yeah. Liam really seems to get off on it. Especially when I talk extra dirty to him at the same time.

    HANDLER:
    Kinky. Do you say anything in particular?

    CYRUS:
    You know, the usual stuff. How I want him inside my ass, and how I constantly fantasize about being with another girl.





    HANDLER:
    Oh really. He likes that sort of thing.

    CYRUS:
    Yeah. He really loves hearing about my encounters with other women, especially on my Gypsy Heart tour. Gets him rock hard.

    HANDLER:
    I can imagine.

    CYRUS:
    He really is the best boyfriend. He's just as twisted and kinky as I am. And that's saying something.

    HANDLER:
    Well. This has certainly been an interesting interview to say the least.


    MILEY GIGGLES


    CYRUS:
    Make sure to check out the latest episode of "Two And A Half Men" and please help me in thanking our special guest for this evening, teenager cock-sucker Miley Cyrus.


    FADE TO COMMERCIAL





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  3. #2
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    Default Awesome

    After lurking this site for a couple months i finally registered cause i felt you deserved kudos for your work. As a long time reader of stories like this, I think this one was outstanding. The prose was excellent, but the concept and execution of it made it one of the best stories i've read this yr. The pictures and the layout of the dialogue were very refreshing. Not that i don't enjoy paragraphs but the way you did it really worked for me. I hope you continue your Hollwood Babble series. I did enjoy Handler more than Kimmel(not that i watch either), her style fits what you're doing more. I'd love to see you do one with Aniston who was on her show recently in a sexy black dress. Also wouldn't mind a Mila K episode, I'm sure she'd have some very interesting stories to tell.

  4. Thanks Bone-Tzu, TPG thanked for this post
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  5. #3
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    Thanks HeyGirl, much appreciated. Welcome to the boards.

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