Coitus On Infinite Earths Chapter 1: "Two For The Price of One"
Written by RV96
Characters: Batman (Ben Affleck), The Joker (Jared Leto), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie)Non-Sex Characters: Henchmen, Jonny Frost (Jim Parrack), Commissioner Gordon (J.K. Simmons), Alfred Pennyworth (Jeremy Irons)
Codes: M/M/F, Cons, Cumshot, Oral, Anal, Rough, Action Violence
Disclaimer: A fanfic that's completely fictional that probably has never and will never happen? Why I never! Yes this is complete fantasy and never happened. As usual, feedback is more than welcomed! Note: I do not own any of the characters or locations used in this story. The DC Extended Universe is own by Warner Bros., based off characters from DC Entertainment.
The Joker was bored and there's nothing more dangerous than a bored Joker and never wanting to disappoint his Harley, he decided to take her out on a romantic stroll through the streets of Gotham City…..If your idea of a romantic stroll is a spur-of-the-moment bank heist. But for every time the two madly in love clowns just take a breath, there's a Bat watching over them.
*6:34 PM Bank of Gotham*
The Joker has just conducted his latest nefarious crime against Gotham City by robbing the Bank of Gotham of $4 million. The scheme was surprisingly spur of the moment as he took only 7 days of plan all of this out, which is a record for him. He had a team of 11 people, including himself, Harley Quinn, and Mr. Frost: 1 Man would hack the security system, 3 would work the crowd, 2 drivers and 2 passengers to help escape with the loot, which just left Frost, Quinn, and J to grab the money.
"WHEEEEEEE!" Harley gleefully exclaimed as she and her Puddin' made a daring escape in a SWAT van to dry to divert any attention away from them. J did have ideas for custom made purple SWAT vans but he didn't want to spend the money and it would've been too time consuming and not to mention, unsubtle. Joker and subtlety? That's a good joke.
"Hurry Poo, we have no time to waste!" Joker exclaimed as they now were now driving back to Joker's Funland, which was basically the old Sionis Steel Mill. They drove underneath the highway to further escape the oncoming onslaught of police just waiting to bust them.
"Money money money MONEY!" Harley giggled in a sing-song voice, too excited to contain herself.
"I know my sweet but we're NOT out of this just yet." Joker announced, still driving.
"I know Puddin' but you REALLY know how to treat a girl to a romantic evening!" Harley replied kissing Joker on the cheek.
"Mr. Frost. Come in Mr. Frost." Joker ordered over the walkie-talkie.
"I'm here J." Mr. Frost replied.
"Are you arriving to the backlot of the hangout?" Joker asked.
"We got lots of incoming traffic but we're diverting to a shortcut." Frost said.
"Goodgoodgoodgood!" Joker exclaimed.
"But boss…." Frost asked. "What are you gonna do about Him?" Referring to Batman. Harley squeaked in shock and Joker just growled.
"Oh don't worry. I'll figure something out. J out" Joker replied now driving faster to the hideout of their getaway car.
"Puddin', did you eva think about B-Man?" Harley asked concerned.
"I don't have to Poo." Joker 'reassured' her, holding her chin in his hand. "I'm Joker. You're Harley. He'll be waiting for us. Hehehehehe!"
Joker & Harley arrived to the getaway car, which was a purple Lamborghini that J had custom made. The only thing that had to be done was to blow up the SWAT van. Harley had 2 explosive charges that she brought along, ready to detonate. She placed the charges on either side of the van and quickly got in the Lamborghini.
"C'mon get in!" Joker ordered to Harley.
"On it!" Harley responded. About being more than 70 feet away from the van, Harley finally detonated the charges as Joker drove off.
"KABLOOMY!" Harley exclaimed as the van exploded.
"Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa WE DID IT POO!" Joker shouted as they had actually pulled this heist off.
"You are the best Puddin'!" Harley exclaimed in applause as they both began to laugh and go full speed ahead.
"Mr. Frost, have you arrived to the hideout yet?" Joker asked but there was no response. "Mr. Frost?" Joker asked again. Harley started to worry. "Maybe the reception in that part of town sucks?" She asked. "MR. FROST?" Joker shouted. "This can't be good. I know, I'll radio Bozo. He should be keeping tabs on us all." Bozo was the hacker who diverted attention away from the police.
"Bozo, ya there?!" Joker asked.
"I am J but……" Bozo said, communication started to fade out. "Yes?" Joker asked. "Someone is interfering with our….." *SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH* the feed cut out.
"It has to be the reception right?" Joker growled. Harley just shook her head, knowing what it really was. The two vehicles with the money passed through the Gotham Post-Gazette, which had a wide, dark alleyway. Suddenly, lights began to flash in the darkened alley. Blueish white strobe lights flashed and an engine violently roared like a predator ready to stalk its prey. It was The Batman and he was gunning straight for Joker and his crew.
"Someone's been screwing with our comms!" Geezer exclaimed driving the truck on the left while trying to talk to the truck on the right.
"It's Him!" Mr. Frost exclaimed. "I freaking knew that piece of garbage would show up!"
"Yo Jonny, what do we do?" Said Razer in the passenger seat. Grabbing a sub machine, Mr. Frost moved to the back of the truck. "I'm ready for him!" It didn't take long for Batman to make his presence known as the engine of the Batmobile screeched like a dragon.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!" Mr. Frost exclaimed noticing the Batmobile. "Step on it!" Frost ordered as he open the doors in the back and he and Razer began to fire. "Gordy, get Sappy and Frowny to fire at 'im!" Geezer ordered from the other truck. "Tell them to take off, we'll handle the Bat!" Frost ordered. "Drive back to the Funhouse, we'll stay here!"
The truck went full speed ahead, luckily not heading into any upcoming traffic as Batman still continued to chase them. "C'MON BATS!" Razer shouted, still firing at him to no avail. "Shit, we gotta lose him!" Geezer shouted. "There, Morella Constructions! We can lose him there!" Morella Constructions was, well under reconstruction after the grueling battle Batman had with Clayface the week prior that ended with Clayface literally being drained as the site is near an underground tunnel that leads toward a sewer.
"LOSE HIM!' Frost ordered as he used up what remained of the ammunition. "I'm trying goddamnit!" Geezer shouted as he entered the site, which only caused Batman to press on even faster. "We're out!" Razer shouted now out of ammo as Frost shut the doors. Just then, Batman drifted the the Batmobile at full speed, looking to ram the truck. "Oh jeez, he's right for…." Frost shouted but was cut off when the Batmobile made contact as the truck tipped over and started grind against the ground.
"Uggggggh jeez!" Frost moaned as the bruises were already building up.
"Owwwwww." Geezer and Razer groaned.
Just as Frost was about to reach for his personal pistol that dropped on the ground, Batman placed his steel-toed boot on his hand.
"UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGH." Frost groaned, pleading for Batman to let go. "Where's your boss?" Batman asked. "I'm not telling you nothin'!" Frost yelled. "Wrong answer." Batman whispered as he grabbed Frost's bleeding left hand and dragged him and eventually held him up against the wall.
"I'm gonna count to 1 and then I'm going to get mad!" Batman growled.
"OKOKOKOKOK I'll tell you!" Geezer begged.
"Talk." Batman ordered as he grabbed Frost's pistol and took it apart.
"Joker and Harley are heading or already at the Funhouse! With the dough!" Geezer said bitterly.
"Geezer, I swear to Christ I'm gonna….." *SMACK* Batman punches him knocking him out cold.
"The police will be here shortly." Batman said sternly as he returned to the Batmobile. "Even think about reaching for that knife and I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life." Batman said bluntly as he slightly turned his head to look at Razer.
"Commissioner." Batman said over the radio, talking to Commissioner Jim Gordon. "Batman? Oh am I glad to here from you! Have managed to capture Joker yet?" "Not yet, Jim but I do have some of his 'boys' here and half the money. I'm going to go after him and Harley Quinn next. Sending you the location now." Batman explains as he enters the Batmobile to chase after Joker, Harley, and the rest of the money.
Batman, wasting no time, drove off into the tunnels near the sewer which, coincidentally, was located right near the Carnival. "Master Wayne?" The voice of Alfred Pennyworth said over the radio. "Alfred?" Bruce Wayne replied, not using the voice changer. "It was bedlam at the Bank but thankfully, nobody was severely hurt." Alfred said. "I'm sure of it." Batman replied. "Keep me posted."
Driving through the tunnels, Batman noticed the passage way that lead directly to the sewers. He hoped, nay PRAYED to whatever deity was up there that he didn't run into Killer Croc tonight as he already had enough on his plate tonight as it was.
"I don't like this Puddin'." Harley voiced her concerns as they approached the Carnival. "I don't either but at least we got away with it." Joker replied, clearly in a rush. "When we arrive, hide the money in the money right by the Smelting Chamber." There were three different safes located throughout the Steel Mill. Eventually, they arrived to the Steel Mill and parked near the secret garage. Harley did what she was told and hid the money in the safe near the Smelting Chamber as Joker just knew Batman was on his way.
"Batman is on his way!" Joker said over the intercom. "Arm yourselves with anything around. Machine guns, pistols, bats, knives ANYTHING." Joker growled pacing back and forth. He's battled the Bat long enough to know his every move.
"Stupid rotten Bat, ruining our date night!" Harley protested to herself as she finally place the money in the safe. She then grabbed her trusty bat and prepared for the inevitable.
"Alfred, I'm heading over to the old Sionis Steel Mill. That's where they'll be." Batman said, now using the voice changer. "Stay safe Master Bruce. Who knows what those two maniacs are planning." Alfred replied. Batman eventually arrived to the Steel Mill but he made sure to park it as far back away from the location as possible to not bring any attention. Turning on his radio, he began to listen in any conversations and heard two henchmen's' voices.
"Why am I stuck pulling Scout?" The first thug said.
"Even though you were once a high ranking member of Black Mask's outfit, you still gotta 'pay' your dues." The second thug replied.
"I stabbed that guy 10 times in my initiation, just like J said!"
"I know but he still want his guys to go through the ringer. I've been working with J for a year now and don't regret it."
"Then why are ya out here then?"
"To baby sit you." Batman finally appeared near the Steel Mill, still listening in but not wanting to be spotted. He found a backdoor into the facility. He searched around, "taking in" the décor. Everything from crude paintings to chimneys and the works. Some "Funland." Batman then noticed a room that had all of Joker and Harley's "toys." Included in this collection were: boxing glove gun, Harley's mallet, a hula-hoop with barbwire, purple-crested bazooka, exploding cards, and the one that Joker seemed to value the most: a bloody crowbar. Batman was instantly triggered with flashbacks of the video Joker sent of him.
"Jason……." Batman whispered to himself as he started to huff and puff. Joker loved playing with Batman and what "better" way to do so than to hold a monument to Batman's greatest failure. He marched to Joker's location, feeling the sound of the crowbar hitting Jason's body with ever step he took, remembering the reason why he's still even doing this. Batman went into one of the many air vents and crawled in them while listening in on the conversations.
"Let's say the Bat comes here and we end up killing him: what then boss?" One of Joker's goons asked.
"We burn the body and we leave Gotham for good." Joker said bluntly.
"Are you sure boss?"
"It is the onnnnly thing I can think of." Joker replied.
"Coming Mista J!" Harley announced as she made her return.
"Ah Pumpkin you're here! I was just saying how we'll escape once we kill the Bat!" Joker exclaimed holding her chin in his hand as he pinched her cheek. Harley simply let out an excited squeaked as she bounced up and down. "NOW, no time to lose. Harley, I want you to get the boys ready for Batman and get YOUR gun ready while I set up my newest trap!"
"What kinda trap Puddin'?" Harley asked as she got ready. "You'll see hehehehehehehehehe!" Joker gleefully giggled as he retreated to…..Wherever it was he was heading to.
"Listen up boys, the Bat is on his way. WHATEVA you boys need, I got 'em right here!" Harley said. "Knives, bats, pipes, chains whateva ya like!
"Alfred, Joker plans on killing me and leaving Gotham with the other half of the money." Batman whispered as he waited for the right moment to strike down.
"Do you think he'll win?" Alfred quips rhetorically.
"Of course not." Batman "jokes" in his broody voice. "I can't get a read on the side of the Mill that he's on. Send me the schematics on that side Alfred will you?"
"Already ahead of you but…..That place is rundown and hasn't been in operation in a while so updates will not come as instantaneous as usual." Alfred replied.
"Thanks Al. Batman out."
"I cannot wait to drag Batman by his stupid cape!" One thug shouted. "He's gonna be a mere stain on the floor by the time we're done with him." Another said.
5 Minutes had passed. Batman was trying to get a read on who exactly would be his first target of the thirteen men currently present. Suddenly, he spotted a man with a 115 HBM and was carrying a pipe. "Master Wayne, I got the outline of Joker's area. It seems like he's currently looking at what looks to be a huge safe near the Smelting Chamber on the East Wing of the Mill." Alfred answered. "Right on time. What would I ever do without you Alfred?" Bruce whispered jokingly. "You didn't learn how to tie your shoes until you were 11 Master Wayne so what do you think?" "Batman out." Batman whispered again changing on the voice changer.
"Time to introduce myself." Batman said to himself. Opening his wings, he glided down to the floor and kicked the back of the man with the 115 HBM. "It's the friggin' Bat!" One thug shouted as tried to swing a 2x4 at Batman but Batman quickly countered that as he broke it in half and snapped his right arm with a takedown/stomp. Batman quickly fired Explosive Gel, which caused the rest of the twelve men to be dazed and confused, giving Batman more time to take the rest of them out.
"MY ARRRRRRRM!" The thug Batman just took out screamed. "No no don't!" Batman grabbed one dazed thug and throat punched him.
"HEY B-MAN GO EASY ON MY BOYS!" Harley Quinn shouted as Batman threw another thug halfway across the room with ease. "Oooooh that's gonna hurt everywhere in the mornin'!" Harley winced.
Another thug rushed up to Batman with a knife and tried to shank him but Batman, calm and calculating, was able to swiftly dodge the knife as he squeezed the thug's hand and dropped the knife as he brought his head to his knees and knocked him out cold. "I hate you so much!" Another thug shouted as he charged at Batman and managed to successfully tackle him to the ground but that advantage wouldn't last long as Batman mounted him and punched him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.
"Three down, 10 more to go." Batman thought to himself as he continued to combat the rest of the thugs. "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" Harley Quinn shouted to one of her boys but before the still dazed thug could turn around, Batman smashed his head against the wall, knocking him out cold. The rest of the remaining 8 clowns began to gang up on Batman but he quickly thwarted them off. One clown took a couple of boxing shots to the body before taking a knee to the head.
Two more clowns circled around him and attempted to knife Batman but he used his gauntlets to break the blades as he headbutted both of them, one of them being knocked out instantly while the other just went down dazed.
"I CAN SEE YA SLOWIN' DOWN BAT-BRAIN! Feeling the pressure?!" Harley teased. As soon as she spoke, Batman ran up to one charging clown and used both of their momentums and did a spin-out slam to the ground, the sound of skull hitting the ground. "Uh forget what I said just now!" Harley commented nervously.
Two more clowns ran up to Batman and while he was able to knock one down, the other was able to knock Batman down and began to stomp him and started to wail on him with the 2x4. "STOMP HIM!!" Harley Quinn commanded and they did. Stomping him on the ground, wearing him at as they laughed as another clown joined it but Batman eventually began to come back.
Backfisting one clown into unconsciousness, he grabbed the arm of another and blocked the incoming clown with the knife as he extended his leg and kicked him in the shin, a bone snapping as he grabbed the knife and stabbed the clown whose hand he was holding in the thigh. "OOOOOOH SHIT!" The clown screamed.
Now remained one more clown and it was the one he had head-butted. Still reeling and trying to get up, Batman grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, dragged him to a nearby wall and began to throw rapid fire shots to the chest, landing crushing blow after blow. "EASE UP ON HIM BATS!" Harley Quinn shouted in fear. Batman laid the final blow by throwing a jumping thrust kick onto the thug, his back hitting the wall hard. If the clown wasn't already knocked out from the blows that were just landed, the back of his head hitting the wall definitely did. Batman returned to the center of the room, scowling directly at Harley.
"WHERE. IS. HE QUINN?" Batman asked sternly, not moving an inch nor breaking a sweat. Suddenly, another door burst open and out came another thug with a machine gun. "DIE YOU PIECE OF….." Before he can finish his sentence and fire, Batman took out his grapping hook and used on the clown, bring him toward Batman at great speed before taking a forearm for his troubles. "QUINN." Batman stated as Harley tried to escape, but Batman with his grappling hook got to her before she had a chance to even leave the room as he cornered her.
"Whatcha gonna do, B-Man?!" Harley questioned. "I'm not givin' up Mista J!"
"Harleen." Batman asked calmly. "There's still hope for you. Give up this life. You think he really loves you?"
"Don't question my Puddin'!" Harley Quinn shot back at Batman. "He loves me really!"
"You really think so? How do you know he's not already driving off with the remainder of the money and leaving Gotham? If he REALLY loved you, he would've taken you with him and not have you babysit these clowns as I beat them within an inch of their lives." Batman explained. "I know you're still in there somewhere Harleen."
Harley turned her back and began to cry. Batman had gotten to her. Was all of this worth it? Why even try to be free and do a crazy scheme when there's just always going to be a Bat waiting?
"You know Batman…." Batman was surprised. He wasn't speaking to Harley; He was speaking to Harleen Frances Quinzel. "You're right. What am I even doing anymore?" Harleen said in tears. "I had so much potential as a psychiatrist, thinking I could actually help those who were sick." Batman wasn't sure what to make of this as Harleen began to hug Batman's broad frame.
"I was young and stupid. But I WANTED to follow Joker. I think even he was just as surprised as anyone else." Harleen stated. "I've done awful things. Robin………" Harleen remembered what Harley did. What she did. Joker might've beaten Jason within an inch of his life but it was Harley that dealt the final death blow. "Batman, I am sorry. FOR EVERYTHING. I will comply with the law and serve time to make up for my sins. HELP ME."
"I promise I will do everything to help you, Harleen." Batman said as Harleen turned away from him.
"Should I start now?" Harleen asked. Suddenly…."NAH. Where would the fun be in that?!" Harley Quinn had returned as Harley pulled out her secret gun and shot super tight fun wrap around Batman's waist, shooting him back up against the wall. "I hate it when she comes out every now and then. I always make sure she stays locked up tight but she still manages to sneak through!" Harley exclaimed.
"You'll never change, Quinn." Batman growled, still trying to fight out of the stronghold.
"AND WHY SHOULD I?" Harley Quinn retorted immediately. "What gives YOU the right to judge anybody on their actions? Or how they live their life?! NOBODY dresses up like a bat just for shit and giggles. You gotta have a few screws loose." Harley calmly added.
"I won't let you win." Batman whispered. "Blah blah blah spare me the hero speak, Batsy!" Harley shot back. "Ya know Bats, I always sensed there was…..Something between us." Harley whispered as she slowly walked up toward Batman, still tied up. "Remember when you chased me and J and we drove off the bridge and you saved me. I remember that kiss you gave me hehehehehehehe." Harley giggled as she rubbed the broad chest of Batman, both the giant black Bat emblem and the strong, muscular frame.
"Don't get me wrong Bats, I LOVE my Puddin's body and how well he keeps himself lookin' good but……Your body is that of an Adonis." Harley whispered as she slowly kissed his chest. "Black cape, grey bodysuit……You're literally chiseled out of stone." Suddenly, an idea popped up in Batman's mind: if I can't beat her just now, how about join her? "OK Harley, I'll play with you." Batman let out, pretending to sound defeated.
"YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Harley gleefully exclaimed with joy, happy (to think) she's won. "We're gonna have SO MUCH FUN! And I promise ya Bats, you'll enjoy it. I will make you feel soooooo good." Harley enunciated sexually as she slowly rubbed her knee against Batman's crotch.
"Ooooooh seems someone is excited to see me!" Harley giggled. "What do you call it? BatMan 2.0? Batboy? Batmite?" Batman simply groaned and cringed at her attempts at comedy.
"You wanna feel good, huh Bats? Such a looooooong night of chasing and fighting you gotta have time to yourself every now and then. Huh?" Harley moaned as she rubbed his crotch. "Oooooh I can tell I'm REALLY gonna have fun with you!" The growing bulge in the crotch area of the Batsuit was ready to tear through the fabric and poke at Harley.
"Hmmmm." Batman let a low groan as Harley continued tease him, causing excruciating discomfort.
"Ya want me to play with ya, B-Man? Yeah?" Harley panted and pleaded with needy puppy dog eyes. Batman nodded. "Yeah, I knew you'd change your mind on me. You want me to play with you? Huh B-Man?" Harley continued to teased. After a few more minutes of teasing, Harley found the hidden zipper on the Batsuit's crotch area and slowly unzipped causing Batman's aching cock, causing her to gasp and stare gob smacked at the veiny cock that stared at her angrily.
"MY MY BATMAN!" Harley squealed. "Mista J's is very impressive but this…..This is a lot to work with!" Harley quipped as she began to touch the cock with her hands. "But I'm sure I'll manage."
Harley begins to play with Batman's cock, mostly just rubbing and touching it while gently planting her tongue across his balls every now and then. "Up and down, up and down, up and down." Harley moaned as she began to stroke Batman's cock methodically, causing The Dark Knight to wince.
"It doesn't matta who is underneath that mask, I KNOW you're enjoying this." Harley giggled as she started to speed up her strokes. "You fucking love that don't ya, huh Batsy? I know you do. I wanna feel you POP!"
"You never do keep quiet, do you?" Batman groaned?
"HA! How long have we've been at this Bat Brain? You should already know that 'quiet' ain't in my vocabulary!" Harley retored.
Batman closed his eyes and hoped this ended as quickly as possible but Harley had other ideas. "I'm gonna put it in my mouth Bats. I wanna see how just how deep I can take this monster into my little mouth." Harley proclaimed as she started to inch his cock into her mouth, first by taking the head and sucking on it. "MMMmmmmmmm it's huge!" Harley moaned against the head as she continued to lick it.
Eventually, Harley was able to take in about 7 of the 10 inches of Batcock, hungrily sucking at it while at a rapid pace while stroking and squeezing him firmly. "YESBATMAN!" Harley groaned as she took more of his cock into his mouth, eventually reaching her gag reflex as some of her make up started to run. Batman's cock began to twitch, indicating he wasn't gonna hold out much longer. Even as someone who has trained in intense meditation and was able to display a patience not many could possess, he couldn't resist an orgasm, especially when receiving oral sex from Harley Quinn.
"YES B-MAN CUM FOR YOUR LITTLE HARLEY! I WANNA SEE YOU SHOOT YOUR BATLOAD ALL OVER MY LITTLE FACE!!" Harley moaned as she began to jerk his cock furiously over her pretty face, smiling deviously and starting at Batman with those stunning blue eyes. Batman let out a low groan, which was enough to finally push him over. "DO IT DO IT DO IT B-MAN!" Harley urged and with one last stroke, Batman came all over Harley's face, unloading 4 ropes of cum onto her face as she stuck her tongue out and garnered the rest of the spurts of jizz.
"Mmmmmmmmmm." Batman groaned.
"Hmmmmmmmmhehehehemmmmm." Harley moaned and giggled, more than satisfied with Batman's load. "All betta!" Harley proclaimed in a sing-song voice.
"You still won't escape, Quinn." Batman groaned, still reeling from his orgasm. Harley Quinn scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"FINE! How about this: I tell you were Mista J is hiding and I only get to spend a few days in jail?" Harley asked innocently.
"I only bring the criminals in. What happens to them is up to the law. Besides, you'll end up in Arkham anyways." Batman replied bluntly as Harley zipped his crotch back up.
"Oh c'mon B-Man, you're tight with the Commish!" Harley begged as Batman simply shook his head.
Suddenly, a dart was fired at Batman's neck.
"UGGGGH!" Batman groaned, feeling the sharp pinch of a dart hitting the right side of his neck.
"SURPRISSSEEEEE BATSY!" It was Joker. Even Harley looked surprised initially but eventually went along with it smiling as Batman started to get loopy and eventually began to close his eyes.
"Oh good one Puddin' but why? I figured I'd lead Batman to your trap!" Harley Quinn added.
"Batman is way too smart for that you ninny! Now, help me drag him to the trap!" Joker exclaimed as Harley was dumb-founded.
"Puddin', that's 200+ pounds of dead weight!" Harley protested. Not having any of it, Joker grabbed her by her pigtails and scolded her. "JUST. DO IT. Also, tie some more of that fun wrap around his belt so in the event when he does wake up, he doesn't go straight for that famous Belt of his. NOW COME ON!" Harley & Joker dragged the massive carcass of Batman to the sceptic tank, right near the Smelting Chamber/safe keeping the money. Joker's plan was to feed him to Piranhas! But not just any Piranhas; They were the same Joker Piranhas Joker "created" after his plot to copyright Fish, a natural resource, failed. They all featured Joker's "unique" face, minus tattoos though the pasty white make-up, red lips, and green fins might as well have been tattoos.
"Harley, place the chain in the back. We haven't any time to lose!" Joker ordered as he headed for the crane.
"Yes sir!" Harley retorted. Harley placed the chain around Batman's body and placed him on the crane as Joker lowered him as the perfect angle for his Piranhas to feast.
"You're just gonna leave 'im here, Puddin'?!" Harley asked.
"Might as well. That dart had a concentrated drug that will knock anyone out for about 2 hours." Joker replied.
"Yes my sweet but 'Ole Batsy here will be less than pure skin and bone before then. A bid you adieu, my gorgeous Dark Knight!" Joker announced as he gave a bow and a blow of a kiss and wave.
"BUH-BYE, STUPID BAT!" Harley Quinn retorted as stuck out her tongue.
Batman was all strung up but, unbeknownst to the happy couple, he was not knocked out at all. He managed to hold his breath and keep eyes completely shut for about 10 minutes (less than rookie numbers in his eyes) and was able to listen in on their conversations. The second they left the room, he opened his eyes and began to struggle out of his current predicament.
"C'mon….." Batman grunted as he tried to wiggled his wrists, using sharp gauntlets for assistance. The Piranhas began to swim wildly, smelling the blood of their next potential meal but Batman kept his composure. He had been involved in more dangerous scenarios involving animals than this. After 4 minutes or so of tinkering with the hard rope, Batman was finally able to cut himself loose, the ropes breaking free one by one. Getting out of his slumber, he used the chain as was attached to as a way to help him get across the room to the crane.
"Here sweetie!" Harley urged Joker on as she had a sneaking suspicion Batman would escape.
"Hey counting $2 million isn't exactly easy! Now where was I? Oh yes. $475, 000, 476 000, 477, 000….." Joker continued to count, far from finished. Suddenly, the door opened slowly and from there stood a tall, dark silhouette, unknown to Harley and Joker. "$492,000…..WAIT!" Joker exclaimed, finally noticing Batman. "UGH! You're supposed to be dead, Bat Brain!" Harley shouted as Joker began to shoot at Batman. With the prowess of a ninja, he rapidly dodged the bullets as he hid for cover.
"DAMN YOU BATMAN! You ALWAYS have to ruin EVERYTHING!" Joker shouted hatefully as he reloaded his gun. Not wanting to waste another second, Batman jumped up and kicked Joker in the face, knocking him down and kicking away his gun.
"It's over you two. The GCPD will round up your men and you'll both be heading to jail." Batman announced sternly.
"DIE YOU BIG UGLY BAT!" Harley popped out of nowhere with her trusty mallet but to nail avail as Batman used her momentum, grabbed her by her right arm, and tossed her to the ground.
"It always ends up this way, doesn't it?" Joker asked. "For nearly 2 decades, you've played, judge, jury, and even executioner. This game between me and you and even Harley now……It will NEVER END." Joker growled.
"You're right, Joker. As long as we're still breathing, it will never end." Batman replied. "You two do commit a crime, you escape, I track you down, we fight, I win, you lose. REPEAT. But seeing you two behind bars will always keep me going."
"Oh and what was that all that about you still seeing me redeemable, huh Bats?!" Harley Quinn asked annoyed, thinking Batman wasn't being sincere.
"I meant it. But you clearly have no desire to change. You're almost as bad as him." Batman replied bluntly.
"Hmmm. Ya know boys, I don't want to keep fighting anymore." Harley pouted.
"But it's so much fun for me! This dance will NEVER end hahaha!" Joker proudly exclaimed.
"I'm listening….." Batman said as Harley slowly walked up to Batman.
"Come here, Puddin'." Harley asked Joker. "What do you have in mind, Pumpkin?"
"THIS." Harley shouted as she grabbed both of their crotches.
"UGH!" Batman groaned in slight disgust.
"Oooooooh you little minx!" Joker said gleefully.
"This would all of us happy!" Harley said, clearly excited.
"What do you say Bats?!" Joker asked. Batman did not say anything as his say in this matter was irrelevant. Joker eventually unbuckled his purple dress paints to unveil his aching, pale cock. It wasn't quite as girthy and mean looking as Batman's but it was nothing to scoff at whatsoever. Harley looked up at J with a devious look as she continued to rub Batman's crotch.
"Lemme taste my Puddin' first." Harley moaned as she immediately took Joker into her mouth. There were points where they loved the foreplay and others were they didn't. This was one of those latter moments. "Hmmmmmhehehehehehehe." Joker giggled as brought his hand to the back of Harley's head and thrust his hips forehead immediately deepthroating her.
"GGLGLLMMMMMMMPPPHHHHH" Harley gagged on Joker's cock as he continued to thrust his member into her mouth. "Take it all in for daddy." Joker moaned. Batman was both creeped out and….Intrigued by what was happening. He'd seen plenty of adult films where the woman is submissive but never up close as he was always a more gentle lover. "Ease up on her Joker." Batman whispered.
"Oh, she's OK Bats! This is a 'special' occasion hehehehehe!" Joker gleefully said as his Harley continued to go down on him. If her make up wasn't messy before, it certainly is now. Harley and Joker eventually slowed down their actions before stopping completely. "I want you to please Batsy again, Poo." Joker whispered to Harley as he held her little face tightly with his hands while giving her a light smack on the face, which she seemed to love as she looked at Batman with lustful intent as she reopened the zipper on his crotch and went back to work on his cock, this time teasing him now with light licks around his cock as Joker smacked her ass.
*SMACK* Harley giggles. *SMMMMACK* Harley giggles again. *SSSSSSSMMMMMMACK* Harley now moans on Batman's cock, sticking it in her mouth as Batman held her head and brought it down onto his member but not by force.
"Hmmmmmmmhhhh Batman." Harley moaned as she formed a smile around his cock, loving every second of this. Suddenly, Joker got on his knees and bent down to Harley's backside.
"Admit it Bats! You ALWAYS knew it was gonna come down to this eventually." Joker said as he laughed before sticking his tongue into Harley's pussy, unbeknownst to Harley.
"HHHmmmOoooooooh Puddin'!" Harley moaned as she turned to look back at J eating her out with ease, not going fast to completely slob over her already wet area but instead adding pressure.
"Mmmmm" Batman groaned softly as Harley was now beginning to blow him faster, thanks to Joker's additional actions. They kept this up for about 2 more minutes before Harley made her proclamation.
"FUCK ME PUDDIN'" Harley proclaimed loudly, causing Joker to giggle softly. They each got into position as now Batman was sitting down and Joker was ready to take Harley from behind. "You want this, darling?" Joker teased as he slowly rubbed the tip up and down her dripping snatch.
"YES PUD…" Harley was cut off as Batman inserted himself back into Harley's mouth, taking J by surprise. "HAHAHAHAHAHA OH BATS! You so wanted this!" After enough teasing, Joker eventually thrust into Harley with all his might, quickly jamming all of it in as much as possible as Harley continued to suck off The Dark Knight in front of her.
"Hmmmmmm." Batman moaned.
"Fuck yeah so tight." Joker groaned softly as the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room.
"HhhhhhmmmmmOhMY!!" Harley squeaked briefly as Joker continued to pound into her at a fast pace. She stopped blowing Batman for a few moments to jerk him and dirty talk him.
"HMM FUCK YES B-MAN! I LOVE YOUR COCK. I LOVE BOTH YOUR FUCKIN' COCKS! KEEP GOING MISTA J!" Harley shouted in ecstasy, clearly having the time of her life. Batman's response was to kiss her deeply on the lips, which she returned.
"Hahahaha I LOVE taking my Harley for a ride!" Joker said as his thrusts began to slow down. Harley moaned as she removed her lips from Batman's. "Come here." Joker ordered, beckoning her to suck her juices off his pale dick, the juices more noticeable than on most cocks. "Hmmmmm yeah baby." Joker moaned as Harley sucked her juices off J's cock, slurping it. After about a minute of this, J announced their next course of action.
"'Ole Batsy deserves a ride on the Harley. Don't ya agree, sweetie?" Joker asked with a smile on his face.
"Oh, I agree Puddin'." Harley whispered as she laid Batman down on the ground and mounted him. "I'm gonna make sure you really enjoy this Batsty." Harley whispered as she placed another kiss on Batman's lips and removed her top, revealing her small but pert breasts. Always a fan of foreplay, Batman used his mouth to kiss and suckle at her pert breasts, causing her to giggle and moan. "Hmmmmm Batsy."
Before you know it, Harley started to ride Batman's stiff cock as Joker watched on, loving every second of it. "Fuck B-Man!" Harley moaned as she rocked back and forth on Batman's cock as she grabbed a hold of part of Batman's cape to use as leverage. Batman grabbed her ass cheeks and lifted her up and down on his cock.
"FUCK YES! I'm such a dirty little girl! BOUNCY BOUNCY ON BATMAN'S COCK LIKE A BAAAAAD GIRL!" Harley moaned as Batman continued to groan. "Keep goin', baby." Joker whispered straight her ear as her pigtails whipped back and forth.
"Ooooh shit I'm gonna cum! GONNA FUCKING CUM ALL OVER THAT BATCOCK!" Harley moaned, not being able to hold on much longer. Joker then quickly kissed at her neck as she came with a ear-piercing screech.
"OOOOOOOHHHHHH SHIT!!!" Harley came all over Batman's cock. Not having anytime to rest, Joker shoved Harley on top of Batman as he entered the holiest of holes for some double penetration.
"HOLY DOUBLE PENETRATION BATMAN!" Harley moaned as Batman started to gyrate his hips as Joker thrust into Harley at full force, despite how incredibly infrequent they did anal.
"Hmmmm fuck yes hehehehe OK THERE BATS?! Of course you are!" Joker laughs as he continued to thrust into Harley with incredible speed. Harley had her moans subdued when Batman grabbed her neck firmly while Joker choked her, causing her to smile as Batman lifted himself up slightly as he kissed the right side of Harley's cheek while Joker placed his mouth on hers, still thrusting into her.
Harley's loud shouts became nothing than audible grunts due to the large hands on either side of her neck, tears running down her face, officially ruining her make up. "Ooooooh I can feel you boys throbbing." Harley barely managed to let out threw a raspy voice as they both released their grips. "CUM FOR ME. PLEASE I NEED BOTH YOUR LOADS."
They both pull out of her and stand in front of her, jerking their cocks over Harley's little messy face.
"Ooooooooooh" Joker growled as he furiously jerked his cock over her.
Batman breathed heavily as he jerked his cock over Harley.
"CUM FOR MAMA BOYS PLEASE!" She begged as she licked her lips seductively.
"Here I cum…" Joker moaned before laughing uncontrollably as he shot several sticky spurts over the gorgeous face of his Harley. "Hmmmmmmm I love Puddin's cum!"
"YOUR TURN BATSY!" Joker urged on.
"PLEASE BATMAN, CUM FOR YOUR LITTLE HARLEY AGAIN. I WANNA SEE YOU FUCKING POP LIKE A BALLOON! PUH-LEAAAAAAAASE BATSY?!" Harley was literally on her knees begging for Batman to cum for her. And he did.
"GOD!" Batman shuttered as he came with a low groan, unloading several long ropes of cum onto Harley's face and mouth with some landing on her chest.
"Hmmmmmm I fucking love that Bat load!" Harley moaned and giggled as she wiped off every inch of cum that landed on her now messy face, the make-up mixed with the jizz and her water eyes made for a beautifully dirty site.
After two minutes of catching their breaths, Harley uses her shirt to fix her messy face as Batman and J placed their cocks back into their pants/suit. Suddenly, Joker grinned and pulled out a knife! Lunging, he tries to literally stab Batman in the back but Batman, always one step ahead, dodged and Joker landed face first into the wall, knocking him for a loop.
"PUDDIN' WHAT THE HELL?!" Harley exclaimed. She was genuinely surprised herself.
"GCPD COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" The voice of Jim Gordon said over a megaphone.
"Batman please!" Harley pleaded like her life was on the line.
"Sorry Harley but you ARE an accomplice to those the robbery. Best case, you'll be sent to Arkham." Even Batman had a fair heart every now and then. He grabbed a loopy Joker and dragged him to the post and had Harley sit right next to him. He cuffed both of their hands to the post and left them there but not before Batman took one last look at the two mad clowns as Harley gave him a playful smile.
"Batman! Glad to see you." Commissioner Gordon said as he shook Batman's hand. "Take the trash out of here!"
"They're in the other room." Batman stated.
"What about the money?"
"Right in that Smelting Chamber, there's a chrome door that you can't miss. That's where you'll find it."
"Uh….You have something red on your lips." Gordon retorted.
"Harley tried to make advances on me." Batman said with a hint of charm to it.
"BF-39. COME IN BF-39. We have just gotten confirmation that Edward Nygma has taken over the Panessa Movie Studios. I repeat, The Riddler has taken over the Movie Studios!"
"BF-39 we're on it." Gordon replied. "I know you had a long night, Batman but……" Batman had disappeared. "Every damn time." Gordon replied with a smile.